Umm title right i don t have one

Umm, I'm not 100% sure if I should be opening up sexually, I've always treated sex as a strictly private matter that should not be openly discussed, but I am nothing if not honest and willing to try something different so, here goes.


I would give anything to have sex with a girl with at least C cup breasts, and is so attractive it has me wanting her for more than sex, however if I'm being realistic, my odds to find the girl I'm after are not particularly favourable, and even less so in this town where most of the attractive ones are taken, PLUS, having never have picked up a girl before, nor had sex a day in my life, makes me feel vulnerable in the way that I lack the very neccasary information I require to ensure maximum sucess and knowledge gain, minimum failure and awkwardnes.

And truth be told, all this desire is recent, like by a year, most of my life, I avoided women because afraid of cooties, it took me to High School to get over cooties, just to get used to hanging around women period, and 5 years to get to my first GF(That ended in disaster after 3 months), followed by a relatively steady string of other relationships that formed, lasted 3 months and failed(one lasted 3 days, that particular female aint got the first clue what the true meaning of love, loyalty or communication means, she is as good at forming relationships as she is able to get one night stands and is as lousy at holing em like holding a scalpel blade with your bare hands), so I know what it feels like to love, and to loose, and know what a break-up feels like.

To get over my desire I broke my "No Porn Watching" Moral, just to experience sexual pleasure and stimulation, and no suprise, the reasoning behind my "No Porn Watching" moral, I ended up falling into(I hate myself for stooping as low as I did).

It bugs me that now after all this time I have, not been sticking by my morals and generally good convictions and instincts, but at this point, I figure I got two options

"Find a girl, Get Laid, maybe score a longer lasting relationship"

or

"Continue to watch porn and reap no long lasting benefits"

One is not possible at this time, and another is just sad.

I could use with a second opinion.

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anonymous Miscellaneous April 06, 2020 at 9:13 am 2 0