Conflicted

I hate this.
Here's the story,

I've liked this guy for around 2 years now. At fist we didn't know each other and I was too scared to talk to him. My eyes kept staring at him and looked away when he looked at me. I loved his eyes, hair, the way he laughs and smiles. I tried to get over him and like other people but I stopped liking them because I kept thinking of him. I realized then I really loved him. The thing is, i'm in high school so I can't do much. He likes sports and loves his family it warms my heart so much. Over this past summer we got really really close cause I learned a lot about him and we stayed up late to talk to each other. One day my dumb self was so tired I sent a message and unsent it but he read it and it was a whole confession like a long paragraph. I screenshotted it but somehow, he saw it the second I sent it. Like I sent it and unsent it in less than 5 seconds. He said he didnt see it and we went back to normal until he told me that her did read it and that he didnt like me that way but still wanted to be friends. Got I cried that night. But now heres the thing.

I got a boyfriend right? I kinda liked him but lost interest so I tried to distance myself. then one of our soccer managers showed up making me laugh and stuff and I think I may have feelings I dont know if he's being friendly or he likes me. the soccer team thinks were dating and we denied it multiple times. This guy has waited 30 minutes in the cold because my mom was late picking me up. This is a different guy by the way. Then my new classes start and ho do I have class with? Oh the guy i've loved for 2 years. Does not sit near me but still talks to me. Shows me his smile and we get close like we did during the summer.

I broke up with my boyfriend which is a whole drama in itself because a girl threatened me and tried to sabotage us but it didn't work. ANYWAYS also during the summer theres this guy who likes me and I liked him back but we lost contact and he got a gf but he snapped me and is now calling me love like idk if he trynna say sum or? But im confused and stuff.

So now that thats cleared up, the guy I still love. So the past few weeks we got really close and im trying to flirt and stuff but im still shy. So in math, he doesnt want to sit in his seat so the teacher lets him move. So he sits RIGHT BESIDE ME! Inner person got reallll happy and stuff. He's now teasing me since im short and we find some way to tease each other. He was playing with my legs and we were play fighting until I put my leg slightly over his putting some weight. I got scared and froze but he went on like nothing happened. He wrote on my paper and stuff and wrote that he was here and I felt so happy. He flashed his smile and my ass thankfully had a mask so he didnt see my face smiling so hard and probably blushing. Then the next day I had a panic attack before class so my leg was bouncing up and down. The fact that he noticed made me smile but when he put his hand on my leg for a second or two to calm my leg down I almost died. Then I kept doing it and he put his leg on mine and kept it there till class ended (my bouncing slowed down) I felt so happy and stuff I almost died again.

After that clas I give the soccer manager some candy because thats a thing we do. He gives me a shoulder hug and I got to class. It confuses my feelings because I dont know if any of them like me except the guy I was talking to over the summer but Im not even completely sure because he has a gf. I really like this guy and hes had gfs and Ive gotten jealous and stuff but not bad just a little envious. He says he wants to focus on himself and be at the gym and stuff and I respect that but he's doing all of this and I don't know why. Is it because he likes me or am I overthinking it and he's only doing this because he's kind. It's so damn confusing and I want to be with him but dont want the rejection and distance so that begs the question with all the guys especially the guy I love

What do I do?

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Gabby Crushes February 28, 2022 at 12:02 am 0 2