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im obsessed

im obsessed

context: i'm a 14yo bi girl
so there's this girl in my year, J, and she's so cute and funny and interesting to talk to and accepting and understanding and kind and genuine and chilled
she's basically just the perfect human omg
and my best friend, M, is in the same class as her and they're really good friends, I'm only friends with J through M
and i only really started talking to J since she was in more of my classes and since we have to stay in our form rooms at lunch because of corona, so she was hanging out with M and therefore me
and the more i talk to her the more i like her
i can't stop thinking about her, whenever i see her i have a mini panic attack that she's gonna actually SEE me and maybe we'll make EYE CONTACT, and i keep seeing things that remind me of her, even the most obscure references send my brain on a whole tangent thinking about her
and she's so CUTE i die inside every time i look at her, her eyes are so friendly and they just have a curious look, like she's interested and aware of everything
her cheeks go pink when she's passionate about something and it's adorable
she walks with so much confidence and swagger, she's so sure of herself
i keep staring at her, if someone sees me staring they're gonna judge me so bad but i CAN'T STOP looking at her she's so CUTE

but
she might not even be into girls
she does give off gay vibes tbh, she has a lot of gay friends and i can't imagine her with a guy, but she might be straight still, you can't judge people too easily
and even if she is gay she definitely wouldn't like me anyway, i'm not saying that to be modest, it's just the truth, i'm not a very likeable person, sure i have friends but no-one would want to date me, i wouldn't even want to date me, i'm an awkward ugly weirdo
and i know all of this
so i need to STOP LIKING HER
BUT I CAN'T
I TRIED BLOCKING OUT THOUGHTS OF HER BUT THERE'S TOO MANY
I TRIED NOTICING HER FLAWS BUT SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY
I TRIED TO NOT STARE AT HER BUT SHE'S TOO CUTE
I TRIED TO NOT GET NERVOUS AROUND HER BUT I CAN'T HELP IT
NOTHING WORKS SO I'VE GIVEN UP
BUT I'M JUST GONNA DISAPPOINT MYSELF THE LONGER I LIKE HER AND THE MORE I GET INVESTED IN HER

the only person i would feel comfortable telling all of this to would be M, but her and J are really close so i know that wouldn't go well for anyone

WHY DO I HAVE TO FIND THE PERFECT GIRL BUT BE SO IMPERFECT MYSELFcontext: i'm a 14yo bi girl
so there's this girl in my year, J, and she's so cute and funny and interesting to talk to and accepting and understanding and kind and genuine and chilled
she's basically just the perfect human omg
and my best friend, M, is in the same class as her and they're really good friends, I'm only friends with J through M
and i only really started talking to J since she was in more of my classes and since we have to stay in our form rooms at lunch because of corona, so she was hanging out with M and therefore me
and the more i talk to her the more i like her
i can't stop thinking about her, whenever i see her i have a mini panic attack that she's gonna actually SEE me and maybe we'll make EYE CONTACT, and i keep seeing things that remind me of her, even the most obscure references send my brain on a whole tangent thinking about her
and she's so CUTE i die inside every time i look at her, her eyes are so friendly and they just have a curious look, like she's interested and aware of everything
her cheeks go pink when she's passionate about something and it's adorable
she walks with so much confidence and swagger, she's so sure of herself
i keep staring at her, if someone sees me staring they're gonna judge me so bad but i CAN'T STOP looking at her she's so CUTE

but
she might not even be into girls
she does give off gay vibes tbh, she has a lot of gay friends and i can't imagine her with a guy, but she might be straight still, you can't judge people too easily
and even if she is gay she definitely wouldn't like me anyway, i'm not saying that to be modest, it's just the truth, i'm not a very likeable person, sure i have friends but no-one would want to date me, i wouldn't even want to date me, i'm an awkward ugly weirdo
and i know all of this
so i need to STOP LIKING HER
BUT I CAN'T
I TRIED BLOCKING OUT THOUGHTS OF HER BUT THERE'S TOO MANY
I TRIED NOTICING HER FLAWS BUT SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY
I TRIED TO NOT STARE AT HER BUT SHE'S TOO CUTE
I TRIED TO NOT GET NERVOUS AROUND HER BUT I CAN'T HELP IT
NOTHING WORKS SO I'VE GIVEN UP
BUT I'M JUST GONNA DISAPPOINT MYSELF THE LONGER I LIKE HER AND THE MORE I GET INVESTED IN HER

the only person i would feel comfortable telling all of this to would be M, but her and J are really close so i know that wouldn't go well for anyone

WHY DO I HAVE TO FIND THE PERFECT GIRL BUT BE SO IMPERFECT MYSELF
anonymous Crushes November 13, 2020 at 6:02 pm 0
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Its okay! Don't give up. This same thing happened to me but im a few years younger than you. To get close to her I just hanged out with her and be myself. And im super ugly and im a weirdo but they should love you for who you are and if they don't, there not right for you. Also, she may be straight right now but that doesn't mean she can't change. She may think it might be weird right not but im sure she'll love you. For now just get closer to her and talk to her more, then you can tell her you like her. It may sound weird for me to tell you this because I may or may not be 3 years younger. But all im telling you is if you love her, then you wouldn't give up on her. Always stay confident, love yourself, and be yourself.
Malia 1 week ago
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